


On Swords

by blackkat



Series: Crossover and Fusion Drabbles [3]
Category: Bleach, Naruto
Genre: Gen, Humor, Swords, Zanpakutou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 10:18:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16135199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: Renji, Kisame, and an incredibly weighty discussion.





	On Swords

“It’s a sword,” Renji says.

“Well, yeah.” Kisame pats the blade fondly, stroking in the direction of the scales.

Renji narrows his eyes. “And it’s got a name,” he says.

“Don’t all good swords?” Kisame asks, like he’s surprised it’s even a question. “She’s Samehada. The _best_ sword.”

 _She_. Renji jumps on that allowance with glee. “She!” he says, and waves a hand at the strange blade. “She’s sentient, right?”

For a moment, Kisame considers, then shrugs. “We play fetch sometimes,” he says cheerfully. “She likes to use bones—they’ve still got some chakra to them.”

The chakra versus reiatsu argument is one Renji decides to save for another day. This is already enough of a headache, and he’s starting to have a lot more sympathy for Ichigo explaining things about the world of the living. “Samehada picked you, yeah?” he demands.

“Sure.” Kisame grins, all teeth. “She’s always been mine.”

“There's a soul in the blade, right?” Renji asks, and this is more of a reach, but—

“Supposedly,” Kisame says cheerfully. “All of the Seven Swordsmen’s blades do, I've heard.”

Gleefully, Renji unsheathes Zabimaru. “Look!” he says. “This is Zabimaru. It picked me. It’s a sword that’s sentient. It’s got a soul in it.” Though the less said about that soul the better. He’s still a pain in Renji’s ass, even when Muramasa’s mind control is a thing of the past. He brandishes the blade, even though Shūhei would probably kick him for it, and says, “Just like yours!”

Kisame lights up. “Hey, yeah!” he says brightly. “You one of the Seven Swordsmen? Did they add a new blade?”

 _Fuck_. Renji almost claps a hand to his face, except he’s still holding his sword. “No!” he protests. “My sword—it’s a zanpakutō!”

“Oh.” Kisame deflates a little. “Ah, I thought I’d finally found someone like me,” he says almost mournfully. “You’ve got all those markings, so…”

“I—markings?” Renji splutters, caught off guard. He wants to protest, but— “No! I meant _your_ sword! It’s a zanpakutō too, isn't it?”

“Samehada?” Kisame pauses, then pats the hilt. “She’s not a zanpakutō.”

“But—she’s sentient, and she’s got a soul, and she _picked you_ —”

“You don’t need to shout.” Kisame frowns at him. “I know what Samehada is.”

“No you don’t, because she’s a _zanpakutō_ —”

“I don’t even know what that is!”

Renji screams, fisting a hand in his hair, and turns to bang his head against a tree.

Somewhere, Ichigo is definitely laughing at him.


End file.
